You might be a redneck if... your family tree doesn't fork.
Quote by Jeff Foxworthy:
Quotes by other comedians
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas.
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
I'm strongly debating quitting. I don't want to create things to be angry about, I'd sooner start doing happy shit.