Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.

Comedian
Short bio
Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

All quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Quotes by other comedians

Regis and I were inducted into the original Bronx Walk of Fame.

There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

I know what you're thinking: yet another late night talk show host accusing Neil Sedaka of being a war criminal.

They say give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he’ll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.