"Wait up!" That's what kids say. They don't say "wait", they say "Wait up! Hey, wait up!" 'Cause when you're little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up. "Wait up! Hold up! Shut up! Mom, I'll clean up! Let me stay up!" Parents of course are just the opposite. Everything is down. "Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here. Sit down. Put that down."
Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:
Quotes by other comedians
Carrot Top will be doing a show about the history of ancient trunks. Gallagher will be smashing ancient fruit.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.
A lot of weird ads. Sally Struthers with that little kid: 'Just 55 cents, the price of a cup of coffee, feeds this kid and his family for a week.' Yeah, where is that? 'Cause I wanna move there.
When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.