I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"
Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:
Quotes by other comedians
I was working recently in London - what a thrill, yeah. But I wasn't used to their money, though, 'cause I bought this really decadent box of chocolates - the cashier said, 'That'll be 10 pounds.' I'm like, 'Rub it in, why don't you?'
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
I've heard on the news that they are thinking of putting microchips inside babies so that if they ever get kidnapped that you can track them on Google. But what if technology fails? Well here is my solution: next to the microchip, put a fucking detonator. Listen, if I can't have my baby, nobody can!
Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it’s a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.