Quote by Jerry Seinfeld:

I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me!

Comedian
Short bio
Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

All quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Quotes by other comedians

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

That's where the money is, on the road.

If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there’d be a lot less cello music, for example.

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.