I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Quote by Louis CK:
Quotes by other comedians
The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."
It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.