They’ve got plastic Christmas trees now. They’re hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Quote by Milton Berle:
Quotes by other comedians
I have no detectable hair style.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, "By the way, you know I'm fake, right?"