If you can't join them, beat them.
Quote by Mort Sahl:
Quotes by other comedians
If I can be serious now, and I have the feeling I can.
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.
We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.