Quote by Mort Sahl:

If you can't join them, beat them.

Comedian
Short bio
Morton Lyon Sahl is an American comedian, actor, and social satirist, considered the first modern stand-up comedian since Will Rogers. Sahl pioneered a style of social satire which pokes fun at political and current event topics using improvised monologues and only a newspaper as a prop.

All quotes by Mort Sahl

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You might be a redneck if... your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

Remember that friend in High School, who wanted to make bongs out of everything? Making bongs out of apples and oranges and shit. One day you find your friend goin' "Hey look, man, I made a bong out of my head! Put the pot in this ear and suck it out of this one, go on take a hit!"

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.

My God! I beat a man insensible with a strawberry!