Quote by Phyllis Diller:

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Comedian
Short bio
Phyllis Ada Diller was an American actress and comedienne, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.

All quotes by Phyllis Diller

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I offend everybody.

My mom looks at my dad and goes, 'Do I look fat in this dress?' And my dad goes, 'Don't be stupid, you look fat in everything.'

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

If I am ever brain dead, kill Titus. If I cannot control the fluids spewing out of my own orifices, please kill Titus. If I'm not aware enough to pick which diapers I would like to be changed into, for God's sake, kill Titus - unless I'm really funny.