There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Quote by Phyllis Diller:
Quotes by other comedians
I offend everybody.
My mom looks at my dad and goes, 'Do I look fat in this dress?' And my dad goes, 'Don't be stupid, you look fat in everything.'
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
If I am ever brain dead, kill Titus. If I cannot control the fluids spewing out of my own orifices, please kill Titus. If I'm not aware enough to pick which diapers I would like to be changed into, for God's sake, kill Titus - unless I'm really funny.