Quote by Phyllis Diller:

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

Short bio
Phyllis Ada Diller was an American actress and comedienne, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.

All quotes by Phyllis Diller

Quotes by other comedians

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.

I don’t think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does.

Golf is my real profession - show business pays my greens fees.

Perception is reality; so being so twisted I have no idea who I ever was which was a really lucky break.

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.