My twin boys are two and they’re cute… but when they become adults, the danger of identical twins, I hope they’re handsome. Because if they’re even slightly ugly, there’s two of those. You notice that. If you see one slightly ugly man walk across the room that’s no big deal. But if you see the same ugliness right behind him. “Hey! Look at that… I didn’t think he was that ugly until I saw it again.”
Quote by Ray Romano:
Quotes by other comedians
It's got some heart, but it's got hard jokes. I care more about the hard jokes than the heart.
If you choose jail over church, you either really hate God or you really love butt rape.
Jeez, you'd think the people in this bank had never seen someone playing castanets before.