Quote by Ray Romano:

Sex after one child shows down. After twins… ooh… I’ll tell you what it is for us. I’ll share it with you. Every three months. We don’t plan it that way. That’s just how it works out. It’s the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it’s oral sex, I renew my driver’s license.

Comedian
Short bio
Raymond Albert Romano is an American stand-up comedian, actor and screenwriter. He is best known for his role on the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, for which he received an Emmy Award, and as the voice of Manny in the Ice Age film series. He created and starred in the TNT comedy-drama Men of a Certain Age.

All quotes by Ray Romano

Popular quotes by other comedians

You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "Uh huh." Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point.

Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

One of the best pieces of advice my mother gave me was "Make your bed in other people's homes. That way you get invited back."

What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: "Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!"