I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!
Quote by Bill Hicks:
Quotes by other comedians
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.
A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.
Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?