What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
Quote by Redd Foxx:
Quotes by other comedians
Anyway, seeking work is a tad difficult given the poor design of the streets with their prohibitive curbs and driveways that don't quite line up.
One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you're the boss. It's your stage, and don't screw with me because I'll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
I stopped having intimacy problems when my lovers did impressions of other women.
Remove your pajamas from your body. Tie knots in the arms and the legs and the head and the everything. And then whip them over your head very fast and then inflate them to the size and consistency of a small speed boat.