The government scares me. They're taking my picture at the stop sign. They're looking through my shoes at the airport. They're worried about gay people getting married, locking up potheads, having congressional investigations because of Janet Jackson's tit. You're better off committing murder or rape because those things you can get away with.
Quote by Richard Jeni:
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At the moment it's just a Notion, but with a bit of backing I think I could turn it into Concept, and then an Idea.
You might be a redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
When I was young, my father had a serious heart attack. He survived, but we lost our house and car. Under the Canadian Medicare system, though, we would have kept the house and car and would have just had to pay the inheritance tax.