Quotes & Jokes by Kathleen Madigan

I think there’s aliens. I just think they’re smarter than us and that’s why we don’t know they’re here. Like, fish don’t know we’re up here, but we’re certainly snagging them whenever we feel like it.

I’d like to have kids. I get those maternal feelings. Like when I’m laying on the couch and I can’t reach the remote control. It’s like, “Boy a kid would be nice right now.”

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store. That economy though - I don’t understand that. When your money gets so valueless at what point do you just sit down and go, “You know what? we got to go back to trading chickens again. This is just not working.”