Dara O Briain

Quotes

On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns.

This is the first time that Irish people go: ‘You’re going to England? Sure it’s full of terrorists. Come to Ireland. We’ve no terrorists. They’re all playwrights now.’

The game of comedy is all about owning the stage, and from a physical point of view, it's beneficial that I am a larger man. From my lumbering presence alone, I can't really help *but* dominate the stage.

On his appendix: Why would God put it in you when it does nothing but randomly kill you for no reason?

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

All quotes and jokes