Rodney Carrington

Quotes

I don’t understand the whole concept of a massage. You get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on.

Aw, hell. My wife and I made a porno, good God, somehow it's wound up on the internet... Cuz I put it there! You're welcome!

I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything.

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

[about masturbation] If God didn't want us to do it, he'd have made our arms shorter.

All quotes and jokes
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