Steve Harvey

Quotes

You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

The only way woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men--an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy.

Men respect standards - get some!

Look dawg, I know selling the tickets was wrong. But look, I took the 2 grand I made and bought Lovita a real nice rolex watch. So I got 1950 left.

God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.

All quotes and jokes
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