Quotes & Jokes by David Alan Grier / page 2

30 quotes

When I was a kid, I wanted to walk with my dad's limp - my dad was my hero - but that infuriated him, and he would make me walk back and forth in the living room until I walked without it.

Some days I think I look kind of cute, but other days I try to avoid the mirror.

Every little kid has always wanted to be a race car driver. This gets some of that out.

I decided sitcoms weren't for me.

The president is always made fun of.

As I get older, my sense of humour is my biggest asset.

I grew up in a home and in a world in which you can do anything. We were all expected to go to college. My father was a doctor.

I want to see gay couples stuck with their significant other at Home Depot with that far away look in their eye, get me out of here.

Don't let anyone try to tell you who you are. Define yourself.

A friend of mine had his own theatre company, and he jumped me in like I was in a gang. And once I came in, it was just that simple. For the first time in my life, I felt, 'This is a career, this is a life that I think I can grow old doing.' It was love at first sight. I loved being on stage and reading these plays. It was great.

I started acting at the University of Michigan in my sophomore year.

I never wanted to lose out on an acting job and wonder if I hadn't been trained enough.

In 1999, if you come down with a case of Gonorrhea, be happy. You should be thankful. That is a blessing from God. These days, that don’t mean a damn thing. Cause they got some diseases out there. I’m not talking about HIV, they got some Ebola of Nuts. You might not even make it to your car.

I couldn’t get a date the entire freshman year of college. The whole year I spend… well, they call it stalking now. But I call it getting to know you.

Ladies, you got to look for a man like you look for a job. Do you research. Run a credit check on ‘em. Meet his baby’s mamas. You don’t just drive him to the methadone clinic. Go inside! Meet the people!