Quotes & Jokes by Dennis Miller / page 10
I believe everything I say in the show, but I don't walk around in my everyday life like some incensed Rasputin. If I did, do you know how alone I'd be in the world?
And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."
They say life begins at 50. Yeah, if you're the fuckin' Highlander.
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets...
Listen, I would call the French scum bags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called "The Right Hand Stuff". I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
He admitted this was stupid. It's a very serious offence. I wouldn't consider it a prank. ... It could have turned into something that caused far more injury, and even death, than it did.
[America is] simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra.
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
We need a return to the basics in this country when you stop to think that only one of the three “R’s” actually starts with the letter “r.”
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, "Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot."