Quotes & Jokes by Ellen DeGeneres / page 13
Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?
I believe everything in life is energy. If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don't memorize numbers anymore.
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's called marriage. I don't care if it's called, you know, domestic partnership. I don't care what it's called.
I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!' I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.
You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?'
For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.
When I was growing up, we had a petting zoo, and, well, we had two sections. We had a petting zoo, and then we had a heavy-petting zoo. For people who really liked the animals a lot.
What goes up must come down, which is why I don't wear tube tops.
Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and then run away.