Quotes & Jokes by Ellen DeGeneres / page 8
To be honest, I'd be the last person who should be doling out gardeinng advice. I don't have the patience for growing things. Yes, I realize there's nothing quite as satisfying as eating food that you've pulled up from the ground and that's why, at the height of the planting season, I bury cans of tomato soup in my backyard and dig them up in late spring.
My hair is always at its best in New York. I don't know what's in the water. It could be mousse.
Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture.
You're not going to find a Pygmie on Paxal, I'll tell you that.
Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't even have to be an issue.
I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
I think anybody who wants to be president has to be a politician, but I would like to find somebody who's coming from a loving place instead of a political place.
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.