Quotes & Jokes by Katt Williams / page 2
Don’t give me that shit that weed’s a drug. It ain’t no motherfuckin’ drug. I’ve done the research. It’s just a plant. It just grows like that. And if you just happen to set it on fire…
A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.
?As a nigga, we are not prepared to turn down a free god damn drink. We don't give a fuck what it is like 'this is unleaded!? that's spicy than a mothafucka, nigga I like that!
I know 50 done made it cool to get shot, ain't nothing cool about gettin' shot. I've been shot before, ain't shit cool about it. When I got shot, ain't no Music play, ain't no Bitches come out, Nothin'!
I have a disease, I'm alergic to stupid shit. now some of y'all might have that same disease. But if you have the disease, you know for a fact, that it does not start when you're an adult; It starts when you're a child. I remember as a child being allergic to stupid Shit.
America is a bunch o' bullies. tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.
Most people think white people can't dance. Truth is, white people be too fucked up to dance.
You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I-- I Didn't know what I was thinking about.
Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven.. Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.
My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!
Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.
You messed up my self esteem... Bitch it's called SELF ESTEEM! It's the esteem of ya Mutha Fuckin Self Bitch... How did I fuck up how YOU feel about YOU?