Quotes & Jokes by Louis C. K. / page 16

I find that when people laugh it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff. I'm not interested in other people thinking differently. I don't care. I'm just like yeast - I eat sugar and I shit alcohol. And there's a huge culture that goes with that. Alcohol creates massive shifts in world history, and it changes people's lives. People get pregnant because of alcohol. But the yeast doesn't give a fuck. The yeast isn't going, "I really want to help people loosen up and bring passion into Irish people's lives".

I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All these things. There's no way I'm ever going to catch up to the misery years. It's impossible... If I don't do anything dumb or I don't get a disease or something, and then I've got to five to eight years I think where it'll really be great and then it will start to degenerate like uranium, you know?

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

I think the idea of fucking someone who just watched you perform is... it's just not me.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.

If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.

I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.

I’ve always benefited from knowing machines well, because it’s freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.

You can't direct without a good crew.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.

I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.

I love comedians. They're my community.

It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.