Quotes & Jokes by Louis C. K. / page 16

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I think the idea of fucking someone who just watched you perform is... it's just not me.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All these things. There's no way I'm ever going to catch up to the misery years. It's impossible... If I don't do anything dumb or I don't get a disease or something, and then I've got to five to eight years I think where it'll really be great and then it will start to degenerate like uranium, you know?

I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.

If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.

I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.

I’ve always benefited from knowing machines well, because it’s freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.

You can't direct without a good crew.

I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.

I love comedians. They're my community.

It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.

Oh, I love stand-up.