Quotes & Jokes by Ted Alexandro / page 2
I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.
A lot of debate about the war lately. Democrats saying pull out. Republicans saying finish the job. It's like the angel and devil on my shoulders during sex -- maybe I really am a Republican?
Lot of debate about the war lately. Democrats saying pull out. Republicans saying finish the job. It’s like the angel and devil on my shoulders during sex.
I'm single. I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.
A lot of natural disasters, right? It's depressing -- gotta keep giving money, can't afford it. Gets to be like friends' weddings now -- like, 'Damn, another one. Tsunami plus guest. Ugh.' Hurricanes, earthquakes, mudslides -- it's like the drink menu at T.G.I. Friday's unleashing its wrath on the universe.
People are evacuating every day, right? Evacuating used to be a big deal. Now, it's like jury duty. Like, 'Great, gotta evacuate. You gonna go?' 'Nah, I'll see if I can get out of it.'