Quote by Steven Wright:


A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn't first place.

Comedian
Short bio
Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

All quotes by Steven Wright

Quotes by other comedians

When I first got into this biz called show, I decided I was going to change my name, make it more Hollywood. And you know how you do that? You take your middle name and the first street that you ever lived on. So when I first started, I actually went by Sue Rural Route 2.

All these years, I thought I liked chicken cause it was delicious; but turns out, I'm genetically predisposed to liking chicken!

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.