Quote by Woody Allen:


You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only... only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Comedian
Short bio
Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American director, writer, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades. He began his career as a comedy writer in the 1950s, writing jokes and scripts for television and publishing several books of short humor pieces.

All quotes by Woody Allen

Quotes by other comedians

I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.