It's not until you're an adult you appreciate how awesome a dog is. Your dreams start dying, somebody cheats on ya, bankers fuck up your 401k, ya know? Then ya come home and that dog's looking at you and he's like, 'Dude, you're awesome!' It's like No, dude you... You are fucking awesome!'
Quote by Bill Burr:
Quotes by other comedians
The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.
The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.