Quote by Craig Ferguson:

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.

Short bio
Craig Ferguson is a Scottish-American television host, comedian, author, and actor. He hosted the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game, for which he won two Daytime Emmy Awards, and of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson on History.

All quotes by Craig Ferguson

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I invented the cordless extension cord.

I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow. But the truth is, now they don't. I mean, the people who are trying to get us are young Muslim men, period.

On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.

Humans are born, small, weak and helpless. That's why we have family. And the elders of the family are the honoured guardians of our country's history. Unfortunately, in America, we, you know, lock those elders away out of view in nursing homes and go about our little lives. It's a great national shame and an irredeemable tragedy. Oh well.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.