Quotes & Jokes about Laws

49 quotes

I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal, fucking is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell fucking?

Marijuana will be legal someday, because the many law students who now smoke pot will one day be Congressmen and they will legalize it to protect themselves. I don't smoke pot, and I'm glad because then I can champion it without any special pleading. The reason I don't smoke pot is because it facilitates ideas and heightens sensations - and I got enough shit flying through my head without smoking pot.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine.'

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company can't explain in one sentence what it does, it's illegal.

Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

My poor mom, she's like, 'That's my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood - he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.'

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit... unnatural?

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

I have no problem with illegal immigration in this country, except for the fact that they don't serve on jury duty. That's horse shit. It should be the other way around - they should serve exclusively on jury duty. Then it finally would be a jury of one's own peers. It's not a stereotype if it's always true; then it becomes law.

And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, 'Oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.'

When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.