It’s hard to know what’s gay in life. Boxing. That’s two men fighting over a belt.
Quote by Demetri Martin:
Quotes by other comedians
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
I’ve met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I’ve never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. "I don’t want tacos! Maybe."
Tip to out-of-town visitors: If you buy something here in New York and want to have it shipped home, be suspicious if the clerk tells you they don't need your name and address.