The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.
Quote by Felipe Esparza:
Quotes by other comedians
I got friends who look like life beat the shit out of them.
My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch.
No parent must ever say, "Get the kids out of here, I'm trying to watch TV." The father who does start saying this is likely to see one of his children on the 6:00 news.