Quote by Dave Attell:

So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

Comedian
Short bio
David Attell is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He is best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell, which earned him a cult following. Fellow comics Patton Oswalt and Bill Burr have hailed him as the greatest off-color comedian alive.

All quotes by Dave Attell

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The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.

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I just jot jokes down as I think of them, and then add them to the act the next time I’m on stage. Jokes are never really “done,” because each time you perform them you can add words or nuances that weren’t there before.

You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?

By the way, great way to fight: arms down, face presented.