So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Quote by Dave Attell:
Quotes by other comedians
When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.”
Love is all about... whistles.
I want to be a bloated alcoholic. That's my goal - it is, I'm serious, because there is no other disease that is more fun than alcoholism. I know it has its downside, but I'll tell you, there's no other party disease like alcohol.