Here's an uplifting story. Congratulations to the Little League team from Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, they beat Japan to win the Little League World Series. That's pretty good. See, that proves that when math and science aren't involved, our kids can beat anybody.
Quote by Jay Leno:
Quotes by other comedians
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
I like to think of murder-suicide as "extreme multitasking".
I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.
I know environmentalists exist, but whenever I see a guy on a bike, I don't think, 'Oh, sweet, there goes an environmentalist.' I'm always like, 'That poor sucker got a DUI.'
When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!