Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars. If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would just dream of all the crazy stuff I could do with it. This guy, 90 billion dollars. He could buy every baseball team and make them all wear dresses and still have 88 billion dollars.
Quote by Louis CK:
Quotes by other comedians
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
Grew up in a small town where there was only one crazy guy. He didn't even go insane doing anything good, like going to 'Nam or having an extended acid trip. Turns out - legend has it - he just had some bad cheese.
Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.