A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Quote by Milton Berle:
Quotes by other comedians
I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.
As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
I'm willing to write a check for $10,000 if someone can bring to me what I fell is ruining thousands of lives, destroying lives everyday. And I know that you know it's a little thing called Chupacabra.
Culture shock at barber shops cause I ain't hood enough.
I had my back waxed once by two women... and at one point they said, "Do you mind if we take a break?"