Quote by Norm Macdonald:

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

Comedian
Short bio
Norman Gene Macdonald is a Canadian stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. He was a cast member for five seasons on Saturday Night Live, which included anchoring Weekend Update for three years.

All quotes by Norm Macdonald

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When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

I'm glad I was raised by my dad for other reasons, too. There are things you can learn from a father, as a son, that you can never learn from Mom. Special things, important things. Like "never challenge Dad to a fist fight."

Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.

You know what I like about George Bush? He makes me feel like I could be president, too. No, he does. He's like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know... the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!

The less food, the more time to talk, the more to talk about.