They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.
Quote by Norm Macdonald:
Quotes by other comedians
When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.
I'm glad I was raised by my dad for other reasons, too. There are things you can learn from a father, as a son, that you can never learn from Mom. Special things, important things. Like "never challenge Dad to a fist fight."
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
You know what I like about George Bush? He makes me feel like I could be president, too. No, he does. He's like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know... the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!
The less food, the more time to talk, the more to talk about.