Quote by Phyllis Diller:


I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I’m not losing a son; I’m gaining a couch."

Comedian
Short bio
Phyllis Ada Diller was an American actress and comedienne, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.

All quotes by Phyllis Diller

Quotes by other comedians

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?

Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death.