Quotes & Jokes about Laziness

18 quotes

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

People say pot smokers are lazy. I disagree. I am a multitasking pot smoker. Just the other day I was walking down the street. Stoned. OK, I won’t count that as two things. I was walking down the street. I was putting eye drops in my eyes. I was talking on my cellphone. And I was getting hit by a car.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn’t keep him awake – even when it’s hot and being spilled on him.

The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. Done!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

I would like to wear a diaper on days where I'm feeling lazy but... I don't. I shit my pants.

Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I’m not losing a son; I’m gaining a couch."

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.

We’re a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

I don’t do much. I’m too lazy. That’s my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn’t effect my lifestyle a bit really.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.