Quotes & Jokes about Laziness

18 quotes

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I would like to wear a diaper on days where I'm feeling lazy but... I don't. I shit my pants.

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I’m not losing a son; I’m gaining a couch."

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. Done!

People say pot smokers are lazy. I disagree. I am a multitasking pot smoker. Just the other day I was walking down the street. Stoned. OK, I won’t count that as two things. I was walking down the street. I was putting eye drops in my eyes. I was talking on my cellphone. And I was getting hit by a car.

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn’t keep him awake – even when it’s hot and being spilled on him.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, “A teaspoon before going to bed,” and in one day he uses seven bottles.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

I don’t do much. I’m too lazy. That’s my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn’t effect my lifestyle a bit really.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

We’re a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.