Quote by Woody Allen:

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Short bio
Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American director, writer, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades. He began his career as a comedy writer in the 1950s, writing jokes and scripts for television and publishing several books of short humor pieces.

All quotes by Woody Allen

Quotes by other comedians

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

A lot of people were surprised that Ford picked Nelson Rockefeller to run with him. After all, Rocky had tried to get the job of president three times himself. That's like asking Morris the Cat to watch your tuna salad.

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

I hate you. I hate you. I don’t even know you, and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you.

I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewellery.