Quotes & Jokes by Billy Crystal / page 3


Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.

Gentlemen, start your egos.

Don't give up your power.

At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.

Bambi, to a kid, was scary.

At night, I'll notice a thigh will just start aching. And this arm, and this...

Was at Royal Wedding but didn't go inside. Had same hat as Fergie's daughter.

Oh, I can't do it right now; I'm busy, I'm busy, too.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.

I fell in love with the right person, a person I know and who knows me.

I would even walk so it wouldn't look like we're together. Here I can hold his hand.