Andrew Dice Clay


I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done, you could turn over and talk about football.

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

Little Boy Blue - He needed the money.

Mother Goose? Yeah I fucked her.