Adam Sandler Quotes and Jokes


Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue...

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!

I noticed you all were French, opposite of bonjour to you.

Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.

Its too hot for a penguin out here come here mister penguin.

Sorry I’m not better looking.

They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

I’ve got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I’m the only person who ever tried that.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.