Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 14
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies … a man lie is, "I was at Kevin's house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"
You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.
Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
I got bused to school into a poor white neighborhood. A neighborhood worse than the one I lived in. And everybody’s scared of black people, everybody’s scared of Puerto Ricans. Yo, there ain’t nothing scarier than poor white people… Yo, these muthafuckers, they lived under the trailer home, alright. They weren’t white trash, they’re like white toxic waste.
The only thing I know about Africa is that it’s far, far away. A thirty-five-hour flight. Imagine the boat ride. The boat ride’s so long, there are still slaves on their way here.
It don’t take no scientist to tell who gonna have fucked up kids. If the kid calls his grandmomma mommy and his momma Pam, he going to jail.
Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check … is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy."
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat!!"! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!