Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 13

It's no different. It's not like I ever cursed around my mother or anything. I never had a hard time turning it on and off. It's like you enter another country - sometimes you're in a cursing country and then you're in a kid's country.

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.

George Bush hates midgets.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

Women would rule the world - if only they'd stop bitchin' about each other.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong.

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

You know, just right place right time, lucked up. Thank God for animation. I can turn down a lot of movies now.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

If you mention to a woman that the song is disgusting and mysoginistic, they all give you the same answer: "He ain't talking 'bout me!" Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick … He said your name! "No, he didn't!" Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick …

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.