Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 13

I do what I can do when I can do it.

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.

Women would rule the world - if only they'd stop bitchin' about each other.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

You know, just right place right time, lucked up. Thank God for animation. I can turn down a lot of movies now.

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

It's no different. It's not like I ever cursed around my mother or anything. I never had a hard time turning it on and off. It's like you enter another country - sometimes you're in a cursing country and then you're in a kid's country.

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.