Quotes & Jokes by Chris Rock / page 7
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads. I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
It's just sad to see some white person trying to do a nigger-less rendition of a Dr. Dre song. It's just fuckin' depressing.
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
That's right, "tell your mama", "tell your mama", "tell your mama" … nobody tells daddy shit!
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking!
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.