Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 19
I’m more of a glass empty kinda guy. I look at it as having more room for ice.
I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.
I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
You are the director of your own life story. Don’t cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
I don't care if you laughed at that or not, the next time you hear that shit, you're gonna be like, "Haha. That Dane Cook is a silly bitch!"
You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.
If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.