Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 18

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

It's easy to point the finger at someone else and place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone and start blame placing the shit outta them.

When something's good, I'm not an over-celebrator.

I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

I get so into the moment.

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it’s still a negative. You’re just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.

Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

You are the director of your own life story. Don’t cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.