Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 18

It's easy to point the finger at someone else and place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone and start blame placing the shit outta them.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

When something's good, I'm not an over-celebrator.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

I get so into the moment.

I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.

If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it’s still a negative. You’re just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.

You are the director of your own life story. Don’t cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.