Quotes & Jokes by Donald Glover / page 4
You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he’d just pee on it.
The thing about stand-up was, I was doing all this sketch and YouTube stuff where I was not being censored and I got to do my own thing, and it was really cool.
They say my public persona don’t have enough appeal, I take a lesson from Kanye and give 'em something real.
Sometimes when jokes fall flat, you feel so alone. You’re like, “Well, I thought this was funny.” Sometimes you can feel really lonely.
NYU's like a Jurassic 5 concert: it's like there's supposed to be black people there, but they're not.
What I wanna know is why I never fit in right like a fat dude getting on a packed flight.
Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.
I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.
I felt like high school for me was like a big whirlpool of me trying to figure out what was OK for me to do.
Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!
Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.